6.28.2026
Can't really tell if I want to save this for writing more "Pieces" or whether I want to just "throw stuff up on here." I guess I will keep experimenting.
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But if he did not turn around to look at Eurydice, he still would be betraying, being disloyal to, the boundless and imprudent force of his impulse, which does not demand Eurydice in her diurnal truth and her everyday charm, but in her nocturnal darkness, in her distance, her body closed, her face sealed, which wants to see her not when she is visible, but when she is invisible, and not as the intimacy of a familiar life, but as the strangeness of that which excludes all intimacy; it does not want to make her live, but to have the fullness of her death living in her.
- Maurice Blanchot, "The Gaze of Orpheus"
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Recently gave three balloons as a surprise gift, and I have been thinking about this scene from "My Best Friend's Wedding," a scene which I find to be transcendently beautiful and an uncharacteristically surreal moment...
6.27.2026
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-Guys I feel my third eye open and its my html website. My html website is my third eye and I can see what it’s seeing via my forehead
6.26.2026
8:52PM
Lord God have mercy.
It's friday, my first of three days off. This is my first blog entry on my new website. Which is currently called fruit dimension.
What i wanted to do today included cleaning my bathroom and filming it so that I can make a Psychedelic ASMR bathroom cleaning POV with harp backdrop. I also wanted to [redacted] but I didn't get around to either of these things. I made this simple ass website.
I couldn't stop trying to make it. I was thinking about how moving sites is like moving houses. I've always thought of the internet as a place which is why this is the fruit dimension . Modern sites are set up so that digital inertia keeps you on one platform. No one wants to move platforms. But no one wants to move houses either. It's way too much work. But sometimes you have to do it. I think this applies too to getting off of services like spotify, etc.
My former website was here: https://www.rubymars.xyz. It may be live when you read this or might not. I want to transfer it from Cargo to over here and recreate it but that seems like a time consuming task. I might not ever bother.
I don't know yet what I want to use this blog for. I'm inspired by artists who share extremely intimate parts of their lives. Reading megan boyle's Liveblog book has me wanting to experiment with ways of sharing online. Have you seen how Caveh Zahedi is doing the same thing and putting it behind a paywall?
For now I will share a few pieces of music that I loved, that I heard today.
MexikoDro - "My Girl"
I looooove Mexikodro so much. he has this one song where he's like. I used to be all wild but now I just check my mail. It's called mail.
"My Girl" is a rare Mexikodro song where the title of the song is not just the last word of the song. I was thinking about how he found a formula that really works in that way, and does repeat this formula very frequently, but it hasn't gotten old for me yet.
Deniece Williams - "Free"
Whispering in his ear, my magic potion for love.... I'm sure I have heard this song before, but I heard it on 88.9 on the way home from the gym. It's so good. It's part of a class of song I categorize as "twee soul." Patrice Rushen's music/lyrics fall into this often as well.
6.25.2026
Amazing thing happened.... I was driving to the gym and on the way there I passed a jazz jam happening outdoors. I decided to attend that instead and it was amazing jazz...
6.21.2026
Band practice. Driving Flannery home from band practice, we made this vlog. My phone ran out of storage at 37 minutes otherwise we could have probably talked for an hour.